Wherever You go, There You Are: Travel Habit Stacking

Joe DeNicholas, Author of Seeking Sanity

Instagram: @unbreakable.wellbeing unbreakableinc.com

Photos by: Ola Poems

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Many of us travel with a quiet fantasy: that a new place will make us a different person, one who is more present, adventurous, patient, and relaxed. Then the flight is delayed, the restaurant disappoints, the bed is too firm, the weather refuses to cooperate, and we meet the same mind we had at home. The situation becomes even more complicated when we travel with other people and all of their habits, preferences, needs, and expectations.

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Even disciplined people often find that their healthy routines fall apart when they travel. At home, many people succeed with a technique called “habit stacking,” popularized by James Clear in Atomic Habits. The basic idea is straightforward: attach a new habit to an existing one so the old habit becomes the cue.

After I pour my coffee, I meditate for five minutes.After I meditate, I put on my running shoes.After I put on my running shoes, I go for a run.

This can work beautifully when life is stable. But as every traveler knows, travel disrupts stability. Different schedule. Different food. Delays. Crowds. Unfamiliar beds. Travel companions with their own desires and routines. The romance of travel can collapse quickly under the weight of inconvenience. Next thing you know, you are no longer present for the experience you worked so hard to have. Frustration builds, your body feels dysregulated, and by day four, some part of you is ready to go home.

This is where habit stacking reveals both its usefulness and its limits. It can help us build routines, but routines depend on stable cues. When those cues disappear, what remains is something deeper: identity, emotional flexibility, and situational adaptability.

These are not mere habits. They are traits.

Presence. Patience. Tolerance. Intentionality. These are the capacities that allow a person to enjoy and truly receive the benefits of immersing themselves in new places, cultures, people, and experiences. They are also the same capacities that allow us to enjoy ordinary life, with all its frustrations, interruptions, and disappointments.

The real goal, then, is not to become an overly structured, habit-obsessed routine follower. The goal is to become a certain kind of person.

This matters because many of us confuse building a routine with building a trait. A routine says, “I meditate after coffee.” A trait says, “I know how to return to presence when things don’t go my way.” A routine says, “I exercise at 7 a.m.” A trait says, “I am someone who cares for my body even when the schedule changes.” A routine says, “I journal before bed.” A trait says, “I pay attention to my life.”

Travel tests this distinction perfectly.

You may plan to be the kind of traveler who wakes early, moves slowly, stays curious, eats well, remains patient, and enjoys the unexpected. But then the schedule changes. Someone else is hungry when you are not. The museum is closed. The taxi takes too long. The coffee is terrible. Suddenly, the question is not whether your routine survived. The question is whether you can remain the person you intended to be when the routine disappears.

This is where identity comes in. The joy is not found in “doing” your habits perfectly. It is found in being the kind of person you actually want to be. The point is to become someone who can enjoy life—all of it—not only when conditions are ideal, but when reality refuses to cooperate.

Presence is key. You can enjoy putting laundry away if your mind is not torturing itself by wishing you were somewhere else. You can be less demanding at family gatherings and go with the flow. You can roll with the inevitable challenges life presents: the traffic jam, the delayed flight, the dead car battery, the difficult coworker, the restaurant that looked much better online.

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The key move is to bring intention to your life and your being. Ask yourself: Who do I want to be today? How do I want to meet today’s challenges? What kind of person do I want to be when things do not go according to plan?

Habit stacking can still help. Structure matters. Routines matter. But they are not the final destination. They are training wheels for something deeper.

Travel is a great test of your progress: Have you built a routine, or have you built a trait?

It is well worth finding out. Because the best thing to bring home from any trip may not be a souvenir, but a more flexible version of yourself who increasingly enjoys the adventure of life.

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Joseph DeNicholas, MBA, LCSW, is a dynamic, challenging licensed therapist whose work bridges science, spirituality, and healing. With degrees in electrical engineering, business, and clinical social work, he brings a rare interdisciplinary perspective to both clinical practice and contemplative training. In 2025, he published Seeking Sanity: How to Cultivate Peace, Happiness, and Wellbeing in a World Gone Mad.